


You Don't Know Jack

by AnonymouslyDead



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games)
Genre: ...sort of, Circus, First Meeting, Going undercover, I Tried, Joker is a clever shit, Kinda Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 08:32:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11802333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymouslyDead/pseuds/AnonymouslyDead
Summary: Bruce goes undercover to find a drug cartel but meets a man named Jack instead.





	You Don't Know Jack

"Is there any reason why you're sticking your nose where it doesn't belong?" Bruce jumped at the voice. He scrambled to look somewhat normal despite the mess he had made searching through crates.

The man let out a loud cackling laugh. "You stink at acting casual, especially not with that handsome mug of yours." Bruce blushed at the comment. 

So-" The man slinked closer, peering into the crates before his glittering green eyes met Bruce's. "Are you going to tell me why you're sneaking around?" 

"I'm just curious. It's not everyday the circus comes to Gotham City." Bruce chuckled guiltily, cringing at how flimsy his lie seemed. 

Thankfully, the man seemed to buy it. "Well, I guess billionaires get bored of everyday life, too." The man said lightly, smiling widely. 

Bruce laughed, offering his hand. "I see you already know who I am. Bruce Wayne."

"Oh yes. The name's Jack, and this is my circus you're in." Jack eagerly shook his hand. "It's a bit of ghost town at the moment. My crew is out to lunch, and our next show isn't until 10 tonight. Yet, we certainly cannot leave you to rot in boredom. What to do?" Jack tapped on his chin for a moment before snapping his fingers. "Come on, Brucie."

Jack began to walk off past the stack of crates towards the north end of the tent. Jack nudged his head for Bruce to follow. 

Jack lead him into the center ring, past a maroon curtain, and into an area that would've been hidden from the audience that would arrive later. This area was littered with various props that Bruce assumed would be for the show, ranging from netting for acrobatic stunts to large cages with live lions resting inside. 

While Bruce looked about in interest, Jack cursed. Bruce watched Jack run off, screaming for Bruce to wait. 

Bruce took this chance to search the area. He had gotten tipped off that this circus was a front for a drug cartel, so he searched around for evidence. However, there was no marijuana hidden amongst the animal cages, no cocaine in the juggling pins, and heroin in the cannon. 

Then again, Jack was in charge of this circus. If he was in charge of this supposed drug cartel, he wouldn't bring him anywhere near the drugs. Bruce groaned.

"Like what you see?" Jack practically growled in his ear. Bruce nearly dropped the box of clown noses he had been shifting through. How the hell did he manage to sneak up on him?

"I-um." Bruce stuttered.

"You're one of those people, aren't you?" Jack sneered. "The ones that always dig around for how tricks are done and ruin the magic for everyone. Bah, I can't-" Jack threw his hands up, causing a shower of peanuts to rain down. 

Jack's outburst would've been a lot more discerning if he hadn't decided to deck himself out in circus apparel while he had left. In one hand, he had a half empty bag of peanuts while the other had a empty paper cone. Pink, melting sugar stained Jack's frowning lips. Most ridiculous of all was the elephant helmet on his head, a cheap foam hat that was shaped oddly. Bruce covered his mouth to keep from laughing. 

"Well? What? Has the cat got your tongue?" Jack shouted. 

"It's actually the opposite." Bruce started slowly, trying control himself enough to think up another lie to calm Jack. Jack raised an eyebrow in interest. "I was trying to regain some of that magic. My childhood-" Bruce regretted those words as soon as they left. He could still imagine those deafening gun shots, even after all these years. All the horror, anger, and sadness, though dulled over time, reminded him that they were still present in his mind. 

"It just takes one bad day to ruin the rest, doesn't it?" Jack sighed, growing more forlorn than angry now. His expression quickly brightened though. He clapped his hands. "But, that's in the past now. Let's see if we can get some of that magic. Um-" 

Jack pulled a hat out from under his arm. The orange fabric was crushed and wrinkled despite Jack's efforts to fix it. Jack handed it to Bruce along with the bag of peanuts. Bruce frowned.

"It's to get into the feel of the circus." Jack chuckled. Bruce examined the orange hat, finding it to be a lion after a moment. Amused, he stuck it in his head. That earned a smile from Jack. 

Jack picked up a nearby box and picked out five balls before dropping the box back to the ground. He kicked the box away before making a sweeping his hands in a sweeping gesture with his hands. 

"Gentleman, I'd like to welcome you to the single greatest show Gotham has ever seen." Bruce had to stifle a laugh as Jack drew himself up in excessive pride at his own assertion. "We sure have a lovely audience tonight." He winked. 

"Now, without further ado, I'm happy to present-" Jack took one of the balls and put it on his nose, revealing itself to be a clown nose. "This joker." 

He threw the balls into the air one by one, catching them with his opposite hand and repeating the cycle. He kept the balls in the air for a minute before he began mimicking a calliope. 

Jack's smile grew wider the longer he kept up his juggling act. His green eyes glittered as they darted around to keep up with the flying balls. Disheveled blond hair swayed gently with the motions. Truly mesmerizing. 

Jack finally stopped, catching all the balls. Bruce blinked, and then clapped. Jack took a deep bow. 

"Now, we have a bit of magic." He pulled a magician's wand out of his canary yellow shirt sleeve. He gave it flick, and a bouquet of brightly colored fake flowers sprang forth. Jack gave the flowers to Bruce with such an exaggerated flourish that Bruce laughed.

"Ok, now-" Jack spun around, scanning for something. "Hold on." Jack ran off towards a chest that Bruce knew contained throwing knives. At that moment, it hit Bruce that this man was still a suspect, and that he could be in danger. Heart racing, Bruce quickly followed. As Jack withdrew his hand from the chest, Bruce grabbed it. Jack quickly turned, causing Bruce and him to be nearly pressed together.

Jack seemed to study Bruce's hand for a minute as if still in shock. Finally, he frowned. "So, you don't like the throwing knife bit, huh?" 

Bruce sighed, relieved that Jack didn't seem to want to strife with him. Still, he had let himself get consumed by his lie when he should be working his case. 

"Look, this has been fun, but I have a meeting in an hour I can't miss." 

Jack pouted. "Aw, but we haven't let the animals out yet!"

"A pity." Bruce said smiling. "Guess I'll have to come back." 

"Oh, you should come to our show later! I'll be putting on quite the show! Don't want to spoil the fun, but I'm sure it'll be a blast!" Jack laughed, splaying his hands in the air for emphasis. 

"I'll be there." Bruce promised. 

******************

"I take it that going undercover worked out well, sir?" Alfred asked. 

"I got hit on by a suspect." Bruce said, smiling. 

Alfred sighed. "If you're going to insist on bringing home criminals, please make sure that they don't steal anything. The last time you brought Miss Kyle here, she made off with enough antiques to retire from crime."

************

Bruce had been searching around a wooded area behind the familiar circus tent for what seemed like forever. He was ready to track down the drug dealer who had given him this location and give him a piece of his mind when he finally stumbled across an old trailer. Lucky him. He charged the building, fully clad in his batsuit.

He tried to open the front door. He tried to kick it down, but the door was reinforced. He checked the windows only to find them boarded closed. 

Bruce climbed onto the roof of the trailer. Thankfully, the fire escape wasn't blocked, allowing Bruce to drop in. 

The first thing that Bruce noticed was that the trailer was a mess. Incriminating white bricks were stacked on every surface. There was a large safe on the right side of the trailer that looked to have been ransacked; the door was beaten to the point that it couldn't close completely. Stacks of cash were scattered around the dingy green carpet. 

The safe door creaked open an inch. "Batman is here." Someone rasped. 

Bruce yanked the person out of the safe. The man was hyperventilating. He struggled against Bruce's grip, dropping a phone in the process. 

"Don't hurt me! I'm just the messenger! I had no part in this!" 

"Then, spill. Where are drugs coming from?" 

The man looked at him in disbelief. "Dude, there are worse things going on than selling crack!" 

"Then, tell me!" Bruce knocked the man into the trailer wall, crackling the thin material. 

"There's this guy holding up the circus. He's told me you were coming after me!" The man gasped. 

"He? Is Jack behind this?" Bruce asked, growing anxious.

"Jack? Who the hell is Jack?" The man looked at him like he was mad. 

"Don't play dumb. He owns the circus." Bruce growled. 

"No, I own this circus. I have the papers and everything." He pointed towards the safe he was in. Sure enough, he found business licenses all made out to someone named Ryan. Bruce frowned. 

"He knows you're here. You need to get to the circus now, and he'll start killing if you don't!"

"What?" Bruce shouted. He glanced down at the discarded phone. "You told him?" 

"He said he'd kill me if I didn't." With that, Bruce dropped him. The man collapsed to the floor, cowering. 

Bruce didn't have time to worry about him though. He ran out the front door towards the circus tent. 

Getting inside was easy enough. There was only one armed man guarding the front, probably meant to "welcome" Bruce, that was easily incapacitated. 

However, Bruce was swarmed. Armed men covered head to toe in black except for clown masks obscuring their faces. At least, a dozen guns were pointed at his face. 

"Don't try anything." One of the men rasped through their mask. "We have a whole crowd at gun point. You get the picture." 

Bruce awkwardly raised his hands and allowed the men to encircle him. There was some murmurs between the men before they began urging him forward towards the center ring. 

As they moved, Bruce could see that the man wasn't wrong. The stands were filled with the citizens of Gotham. Throughout the audience, Bruce could see more clown thugs aiming guns at the circus patrons. Bruce gulped.

The men urging him forward came to a stop in the absolute center of the tent. The circle around Bruce broke to give way to- 

"And the guest of honor finally...Hey, haven't I seen you somewhere before?" Jack stopped his dramatic introduction to stare questioningly at him. 

Jack was certainly...different now. His face was smeared in grease paint, his hair was now acid green, and he was dressed in the tackiest purple suit Bruce had ever seen. But, Bruce could still recognize those eyes, though they were a bit more manic now. 

Jack stalked closer to Bruce, reaching out to yank Bruce's face closer. Bruce quickly grabbed his wrist, pulling it away. The remaining clown thugs rushed at Bruce while Jack's jaw dropped. He stared at Bruce's hand in shock and awe.

Then, bone chilling laughter spilled from Jack's mouth, sending chills up Bruce's spine. 

"I guess I was wrong then." Jack said, though his smug smile said otherwise. "Well, I guess we should introduce ourselves to our new friends, huh boys!" Jack snapped his fingers. One clown thug put a microphone into his waiting hand. 

"Welcome, good people of Gotham. I'm the one and only Joker, and let me be the single greatest show Gotham had ever seen!" 

**Author's Note:**

> Welp I tried feel free to comment any thoughts you may have or leave kudos   
> Thanks for reading ^u^ 
> 
> Oh and if anyone has an idea for any batjokes fics they'd wanna see hmu my tumbles lawlilawliet


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